By Julius Nsikak
Let me begin by saying clearly that I am not joining issues with anybody, neither am I interested in whatever emotional wildfire this commentary may trigger.
But somebody must say the truth, especially in a society where hypocrisy wears agbada and carries a Bible under the armpit.
For decades, men have cheated openly and society treated it like a cultural festival.
A cheating husband is called “a real man”.
A cheating wife is called “a disgrace”.
One gender commits adultery and receives handshakes.
The other commits the same act and suddenly prayer warriors begin three days fasting and deliverance.
I was born hearing men proudly declare that cheating is “in a man’s nature”.
Whose nature exactly?
Because it is certainly not in my nature.
Many men cheat so recklessly that they practically create branch offices outside marriage.
Yet the same society that tolerates their nonsense suddenly develops high blood pressure when women begin to return the energy.
Now women are responding with what the streets call “aura for aura” and suddenly everybody is shouting that the world is ending.
Interesting.
When a woman cheats, the village square becomes a breaking news centre.
Afe Idung.
Obio.
Esio Iman.
Ufok Abasi.
Ufok Ndo.
Ufok Ette and Eka.
Everybody gathers to analyse the woman’s morality like a Supreme Court panel.
But when a married man is moving from one woman to another like a campaign vehicle during election season, society calls him “weak” and asks the wife to pray harder.
What a magnificent scam.
The dangerous part is that this mindset has poisoned younger men.
Many now see cheating as a birthright instead of a character flaw.
Some even wear infidelity like a badge of honour.
They believe marriage is too sacred for women to disrespect but flexible enough for men to misuse.
And because society rarely punishes men for cheating, many have become fearless repeat offenders.
To them, no matter what they do, the woman will stay.
After all, they say “men will always be men”.
What a lazy excuse for poor discipline.
I read a post by Diamond Ifiok today and one man commented:
“Don’t prove to a man you can do same. It’s the woman that will lose at the end. I’m not saying it’s right for a man to cheat, but it’s a way of honouring your husband by not cheating. He loves you, that’s why he chose you out of the lot and married you.”
I nearly dropped my smoothie🙌.
How exactly does the woman lose while the man gains?
And what kind of recycled patriarchal mathematics is that?
If a man choosing a woman from many options is proof of love, then is the woman blind?
Did she not also choose him from many men?
Or are women expected to enter marriage carrying loyalty while men enter carrying excuses?
Society trained women for years to endure nonsense in silence.
Now some women are no longer silent and everybody is panicking.
The same men who spent years teaching emotional wickedness are suddenly shocked that women have learnt the language fluently.
Person wey start bad play no dey complain when pepper finally touches him.
You cannot normalise male cheating for generations and expect women to continue clapping from the sidelines like spectators in their own marriages.
This is not a defence of infidelity.
It is an exposure of double standards.
If cheating is evil, then let it be evil for everybody.
If it destroys trust, then let the destruction apply equally.
If society wants loyalty, then loyalty must stop being a one gender assignment.
Until then, many of these moral arguments will continue sounding like badly written comedy scripts sponsored by patriarchy.
Julius Nsikak, writes this social commentary comfortably stretched on his eight feet tall mattress, with a chilled smoothie patiently waiting to be imbibed while the comment section prepares for civil war.